Widowed Life

Never in my wildest dreams... Never EVER : Could I EVER imagine I'd be Widowed. After all these years, I can "FINALLY" talk about it. And yes, it's taken me THIS LONG (Since February 19th, 2018) 

It happened to my mother, when my father died. It happened to my sister, when her husband died. Then... IT HAPPENED TO ME !  27 years, 4 kids (2 are twins) and a whole lot of memories and scars. It's way too much for my blog to handle ! However... I am widowed.  That EVIL BASTARD BREAST CANCER took my "Chipmunk" away from me.  It doesn't matter what part of the body it affects, CANCER IS CANCER. My sister had stomach cancer. My father had pancreatic cancer and a heart attack. My uncle (Dad's brother) had cancer. 

 

       At the time of this entry, it's Easter Sunday 2025 at 2:00 PM and I'm widowed, my kids are grown and life is just not what I thought it would be at this point and time in my life. The sad part is... I HAD ABSOLUTELY "NO CONTROL" over ANYTHING !  All I wanted was a nice quiet family life, a few laughs and maybe, just maybe, grow old with the person who gets on my dam nerves while I smack her butt and we eat tons of junk food together. Was that too dam much to ask ?  Was it ?    

 

       My faith is SUPER STRONG in Jesus Christ. Make no mistake about it. Also, Thanks to the lost Gnostic Gospels that the Roman Catholic Church did NOT want us to know about, I now understand a lot of things that I was never supposed to know about, which keeps me strong. I am #Widowed. Cancer claimed my #Wife (27 years). Cancer claimed my #Father, my uncle and my sister.  The only way I can put how I feel is... 

 

       I have been alone for so many years now, since my wife died on February 19th, 2018.  I have to somehow go on living, while everyone around me, who were the closest people to me, are now ALL GONE !!!!  What do I do now...?  I feel so freakin lost, and I definitely don't have a handle on anything.  It's taken me 7 long years, just to be able to come to grips with the fact that I am widowed.  7 years of my life that I can never get back. I also have absolutely no idea where they all went...?  Now I can't even remember who I once was, much less whoever the hell I am now ?  Cancer didn't just take all my loved ones away, it's completely WRECKED me and my entire life. What's left of it anyway.  like I said before : 

 

Love Always in Your Life,  

        

Follow Jesus Christ, you will NEVER GO WRONG.  

https://linktr.ee/CherokeeFox 

Foxy Music Lover

Just a quick note : For those of you who know me or who follow me, you know that I am a super huge music lover.  I just rediscovered all my favorite music all over again with the #AirPodsMAX.  Thank you #Apple .  My heart is on FIRE AGAIN...  I can't wait to post my full review on my revamped YouTube Product Review Channel...   More details will be coming soon !  Music has ALWAYS been my Mistress in my life and she LOVES MY FULL ATTENTION.   

Love Always in Your Life,  

        

Follow Jesus Christ, you will NEVER GO WRONG.  

https://linktr.ee/CherokeeFox 

My First TRUE Love : Part III

Since the day I was born, I grew up in a household where all I can remember is good music, good times, and good company.  Music was a way of life.  It could sometimes even be a status symbol and personal image or likeness.  Meaning the type of music you listened too and associated yourself with could also dictate your social status, surroundings, friend inner circle, and sometimes could even alienate you from others.  Of course, back in those days, the music scene was a lot different.  Never the less...  Music has always had a place in my life.  It literally affects my mood, but it also reflects my mood...    

This is what Music "USED" to look like...

This is what music looks like "NOW"...

Music has definitely changed over the years, but it has always been my First True Love and comfort.  Whether times were good or bad, happy, or sad...  There was always a certain song that could automatically put me in a good place or bring up a Special Past Memory in an instant...  I don't think I could ever live my life without music in some shape or form.  With the right song, at the right moment, I can feel my inner soul Transcend...

With Music, My TRUE Inner being becomes ELECTRIFIED AND Free...

MUSIC: I Want her...  I Need her...  I Crave her...

I "AM" HER... 

My First True Love : Part 2

My First True Love : Part 1 

MUSIC: MY FIRST TRUE LOVE 

Love Always in Your Life,             

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My FIRST TRUE Love - Part 2

      When I think about the happy times in my life or a Special Moment...  My First True Love ALWAYS Comes to my mind.  She ALWAYS takes me to that Special Memory that makes my heart start pounding out my chest, my mind starts racing, I start to smile uncontrollably and my imagination starts to flow...  

      Sometimes, I hear something familiar that reminds me of a certain point in my life that I had long since forgotten about, but still lives deep within my soul.  Then I spiritually go to my happy place.  A place that ONLY I know, only I feel, only I see.  My First True Love has aged.  She has grown wiser and stronger.  She knows exactly how to gain full control over me in an instant sound or beat.  She touches me like no other and sweeps me off my feet.  I get that feeling of Spiritual Healing that I need at that moment.  No one else can touch me like she can, NO ONE !  

      I still love her and my love for her has grown over the ages.  She has stuck by me in my darkest hours and my best of times.  She has comforted me and shown me how life should be, how it can be and how it will be.  In life, no matter if you are Male or Female, we ALL remember our first love and we have those special memories that are instantly triggered by a familiar sound, smell, taste or touch.  My first love has protected me from all the grief and negativity in life that has attacked my heart and my soul.  She has been my escape when I just needed to get away and be isolated from everything and everyone.  Her name sends chills through my body and vibes throughout my soul that nothing else and no one can match.  My First TRUE Love name is...  

MUSIC !    

Love Always in Your Life,             

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My FIRST TRUE Love - Part 1