As a result... I have grossly let myself go. I have gained so much weight from not taking care of myself that I don't even recognize myself anymore. I work so much to pay unnecessary bills. I am constantly breaking myself down to support my family and making the white man rich and comfortable, while I suffer and my family struggles. This shit is about to STOP, on December 6th, 2019 !!!! I sacrifice time with my own family just to get by. I don't even remember when was the last time I actually got a good full night of sleep.
Now coming into the year 2020 soon... I will be putting 80% of my energy back into myself and my own Physical and Mental wellness. For the past 3 years, I have stretched myself very thin in taking care of everyone around me, while gaining a tremendous amount of weight in the process. NOW, it's finally happened...
Last night while at work (Friday, October 25th, 2019), I was walking by the wall mirror in the front lobby and I actually SCARED THE HELL OUT OF MYSELF ! I just happen to look at myself walking from the side and I caught a glimpse of myself. I was actually STOPPED DEAD IN MY OWN TRACKS right in the middle of the lobby area ! I walked about 3 steps back so I could fully look at myself from the side and front in the mirror and I said out loud :
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MYSELF ?"
I look like I swallowed a freakin Walrus. I was actually TERRIFIED of MYSELF ! I have never been this BIG in my lifetime. The funny thing is that on my "Fox-O-Gram" account, I subscribe to a lot of Female Body Builders and competitors. I highly admire them for their fitness, hard work and dedication to their promotion of wellness, fitness, and positive outlook, yet, I have let myself go so badly.
I woke up this morning and looked through my photos of who I USED to be and what I USED to look like. I was so PROUD of myself at one time... Now..., I am completely embarrassed and ashamed to even show my face. As of this day moving forward, I'm NOT living another day in my own self-destruction and consuming large amounts of sugar, ice cream, sweets, and junk food. I am going to GET MYSELF BACK into shape and push myself further than I ever have in my young past. I used to live in gyms like Bally's, Planet Fitness and work gyms when available. I also used to eat a lot better and healthy. I think it's time to get back to my own basics and once again take care of myself, learn to say no to others and dedicate more time to my own physical, mental and spiritual wellness. I am going to STOP giving away so much of myself and start rebuilding myself, but even better now. It's time to once again become :
TOTALLY FOXY
