The Country Fox... Part 2 !

The Country Fox (Part 1), Click here

      Earlier this year I wrote a blog entry entitled "The Country Fox".  The link to that entry is listed above.  Well... Now, I have well passed the mark of the 2nd half of my life.  The feeling that I have always had for a Quiet Traditional Country Life is continuing to grow within me.

      Sometimes I wonder if I really had an advantage by living in Big Cities all these years or if it was simply a FALSE "BLIND HANDICAP".  Living in big cities sometimes can make you feel falsely invincible.  You tend to think you have everything you need at your disposal.  But, do you really...?  The things that you think are assets, may actually be the very things that are holding you back in life, as a comfortable crutch.  We now live life in a 24 hour, fast paced, instant gratification type of modern society.  Things tend to happen and change in the blink of your eyes.   

      Remember that a FAST LIFE is NOT always GOOD LIFE !  There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE.  I think today, we all have had things going so fast for so long now, that we have lost the ability to slow down and really appreciate what life truly has to offer us.  And the sad part is, things are now moving so fast in today's society that we are practically on "Auto-Pilot".  Most people are unaware that life is actually just passing them by...  By the time most people realize it, they are too old to make their life count for what they originally once stood for, if they can even remember what that once was...?  

      Noise, Traffic, Crowds, Processed "Fake" Foods, Crime, Drugs, Alcoholism, Family Disfunction, Anger, Mental Illness, Pollution, Lost Family Values, Lost Traditions, No Manners, Misguided Behavior, Sexual Deviant behavior, Deranged Violent Youth, Lost Christian Teachings, Heartlessness, Selfishness, Broken Marriages, Broken Family Homes, Over Population, High Co$t of living, Lack of Community and Unity...  ALL the ingredients of today's BIG CITY LIFE.  (Note: 90% of all that, is closely credited to the heavy media influence of Hollywood and Poorly Valued Musicians)  Well, All I can say is...  

NO THANKS !  

      I am now aggressively seeking to break away from all that is associated with "City Life".  I deeply desire to finally achieve the Quiet, Peace Loving COUNTRY LIFE that I have always dreamed of.  As I said in Part one of "The Country Fox", A picture is worth a thousand words.  So..., Here are just a few images of what I think we are all missing out on.  Please keep an open mind and just think about this...  

     

Peace, Quiet, Love, Tradition, All Natural, Tranquility and Appreciation

JUST SAYING... 

Love Always in Your Life,             

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Date : Saturday 12 - 27 - 2014    

HOT FOX to Go...

      As my friends and followers on Twitter and Facebook already know...  I have been approached to do some Male Escort Work !  I was like, OMG Seriously ?  The money that is being offered is much too great to turn down.  Then...  Yet a 2nd offer was made to me !  In my current situation, saying NO to such a GOLDEN offer was  more than just HARD !  

      It really got me thinking...  I am single, I am all alone, I have no attachments now anymore so what the hell do I have to lose ?  I can actually achieve my dream of reopening my Property Management Business with lightening speed !  Then, offer good paying jobs to others.  

      Now, for all you "Dirty Birds" out there..., NO, I am "NOT" talking about Male Escorting as in a cover for prostitution...  Hell NO.  I am just NOT that kind of Fox, sorry.  I am talking about accompanying people to Event Functions, Black Tie Affairs, Banquet Dinners, Conventions and things of that nature.  NON-sexual, Upscale, Male Escort Service.  To say the least, Yeah it got me thinking...  And thinking...  AND THINKING...  

      All I can say safely (For NOW) is, I have nothing to loose anymore and nothing else in my way so, why not ?  However, True to my Virgo nature, I will need to ponder these thoughts and properly weigh all the pro's and con's very carefully.  In today's world and with this economy, Could "YOU" say no to such an offer...... ?  

 OK, I am NOW starting to work on my body (Fast, just in case), crunches and ab work again.  

Here we GO !   

Love Always in Your Life,

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10 Most Foxy Wanted List

Ten things I would REALLY like to have...  

(Not in any Specific Order) !  

1.  

 

 

 

2.  A Large Loft Style Apartment

 

 

3. A SERIOUS Banging Ass drum set.

4. A BAD ASS FULLY Equipped RV

 

5. An iMac and a Mac Book Pro with Final Cut.

6. A Professional Filming Camera. 

7. A Woman who ACTUALLY knows how to : 

8.  

9.  A Whole NEW Wardrobe 

10. A Natural Country Life...

   

Love Always in Your Life,      

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Sadness, Forgiveness and Redemption

      
      Oh Dear GOD...  I BEG of you...  PLEASE oh please forgive me for my sins of my past.  How much longer must I suffer in silence.  I am constantly surrounded by undercover demons wearing fake smiles.  I am so tired of being unhappy in my life.  I have tried to stay strong for everyone else around me.  I am now broken.  I just can't stand on my own anymore.  I have honored my parents.  I have stood strong for my kids.  I have fought to obey your Holy Commandments.  I have tried to be a good person and an upstanding citizen.  Yet, I am still plagued by demons and haunted by my past sins and I am continued to be punished for it.  

      When is it going to be MY TIME...?  When will I have my chance to finally be happy in life ?  When will I finally prosper ?  When will a door open for me ?  When will someone just give me a chance in life, with openness and acceptance, NOT harsh judgement and criticism ?  When will someone see me for who I "REALLY" am inside, and NOT this monster that I have been forced to become and to wear this ugly male mask that I am forced to wear in my life.  When will I be free of my bondage and chains ?  

      I find myself constantly surrounded by evil, within negative people who swear they only want the best for me, yet continue to drain my energy, play mind games, dampen my spirit and lead me in the wrong direction in life.  I just wanna be free.  I WANT MY FREEDOM.  I want to experience Peace, Love, Acceptance and Tranquility.  I just want to be : F-R-E-E ! 

      
      Oh dear Lord hear my prayer, with my crying heart in your warm healing and forgiving hands.  I BEG you to heal me.  Free me and show me the way to the right path in life.  Shield be from those who lie and only project harm upon me.  Protect me and enable me to see through peoples fake masks and fake smiles.  Grand me clear vision and sooth my soul.  Please GOD, I simply ask you to : Hear me, Understand me and HEAL ME...  Once and for all ! 

   

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I L_ _ _ Y_ _ !

      

      Well...  It never fails !  When ever someone says that they "L _ _ _" me or claims to "L _ _ _" me, they always end up Lying to me and stabbing me in my back.  It just never fails.  Both Family members as well as so-called friends.  I have never in my entire life had someone really be a real TRUE friend or partner to me without eventually hurting me in some way.  

      In fact, whenever I hear those bone chilling 3 words uttered out of someones mouth, my brain only hears 2 things : LIAR, FUTURE BACK STABBER !  My initial reaction is to just smile and down play it.  However, what I IMMEDIATELY do is start distancing myself from ANYONE who claims to "L _ _ _" me in "ANY" way.  Every EX or soon to be ex, I ever had always claimed to Truly love me (BIG LIE), right before they stick it to me.  I have had family members to also claim to "L _ _ E" me, and every one of them were no exception either.  It now even IRRITATES me just to even hear it.  

      My thing is : If you "REALLY" L _ _ _ me, Don't Sing it, BRING IT !  Don't blow it, SHOW IT !  I would MUCH rather someone actually SHOW that they "L _ _ _" me, rather than just say it (Then eventually lie to me and stab me in my back).  

      At this point in my life, ANYONE who says those words to me will only make me RUN LIKE HELL, because I KNOW what comes next (Back Stabbing and Heart ache).  I have been down this predictable road too many times now.  I already know where that dark alley leads too..  

  

      This is why I shoulder and conceal my feelings.  This is why I am NUMB.  This is why I push people away.  This is why I "NEVER" allow someone to get "TOO CLOSE" to me.  I have had enough heart ache and disappointment for 10 lifetimes now.  I just become more cold and numb with each passing moron, huh, I mean, with each passing day that goes by, sorry...  So the next time you lie to some poor future victim, huh, I mean..., the next time you tell someone that you "L _ _ _" them : Actually mean it and actually SHOW it.  If NOT, do yourself and your unsuspecting VICTIM a HUGE favor and...  

          

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Cultural Robbery

  

            If an Asian man and an Asian woman came here to The United States of America, from China (for example) and they later had a baby together, which is born here on American soil...  Would that baby be any less Asian just because of where he / she was born ?  No matter where you are physically located in this world, you can NOT change your Physical DNA and you can NOT change "WHO" you are !  "IF" you can figure out "HOW" to do that, PLEASE LET ME KNOW, and FAST !  OK, now let's say...  That the same Asian child, has now fully grown up and is now a 25 year old ADULT ! 

      This individual as grown up here in the good ole USA, went to our American schools, speaks, reads and writes Proper English, celebrates our American holidays and takes part in our American traditions here in our American Culture.  Even though this Asian adult is now fully "Americanized" (Asian-American) and is considered to be an American citizen by way of birth, does that mean that this person is not fully "ASIAN" ?  Does this person not have his / her Asian identity any longer ?  Remember, no matter "WHERE" you are in this world, you can't change "WHO" you are.  

      The parents had Americanized their child, in the hopes that their child would have a fighting chance to create a better life for their future generations.  Now that's 1 way to look at it.  Another way to see it is, that the parents are guilty of "Cultural Robbery" !  OK, allow me to explain...  Picture this : The 25 year old Asian-American citizen is getting older now and starts to become increasingly curious about who he /she really is and about his / her Asian heritage, traditions and origin / background.  He / She plans a trip to China.  The Excitement builds as he / she is finally going to see his / her family home land.  To make a long story short... 

      Upon a happy and safe arrival in China, it is quickly apparent that he / she does NOT speak Mandarin (Chinese), doesn't know any of the native Chinese customs or traditions, is quickly becoming alienated for others around him / her and is starting to feel like an alienated and uncomfortable in his own native land, all because the parents did not educate their child about who he / she is and failed to raise and provide their child with a familiar Asian upbringing (even though the parents DID have good intentions towards their child).  Thus committing the "Social Crime" of Cultural Robbery of their child.  

      The whole point of this hypothetical story is : This is "EXACTLY" how I have always felt inside.  However, it has always been unpopular to voice it out loud.  So I was forced to conceal my deep inner "Cultural Alienated Feelings" on this (and many other) subject matters.  After many years of "Internal" struggles about this, I finally sat down and had a long talk with my dad about this (R.I.P., 2012).  I asked him, why he didn't raise us (Me and my sisters) on a traditional Native American Reservation / land like others ?  Why we were not "Allowed" to take part in our own Native culture and participate in the life and heritage that we were essentially "Robbed" of and owed ?  Why he took that piece of our own history and heritage away from us ?  How could a STRONG and PROUD Cherokee father deny his own kids of their personal identities ?  Why were we deprived and denied of the upbringing that we SHOULD have had ? 

  

      For the sake of my deceased father and for my family's privacy, I can not disclose what his answers were to me.  I also sat and thought about the fact that our entire lives (me and my sisters) was a lie.  Essentially, we lived altered lives that was meant for us.  Not better lives or worse, just lives that was NOT supposed to be ours and NOT meant for us.  This is how I felt (and still do to this very day).  These are the questions that I posed to him and my real feelings that I candidly discussed openly with him.  I am a parent of 4 myself and I am fighting hard to ensure a proper upbringing for my own kids.  As a parent myself, I would URGE ALL parents out there to sit with their kids and discuss their feelings and reasoning behind their decision making with their kids.  Even though they are kids, you can help them achieve a great understanding of their past and who they are.  You would be surprised at how much it will mean to them later on in life.  Kids "DO" understand things a lot better then you may think.  Just think back to your own childhood.  Think about how much you would know right now today and how many "holes" in your own head would be filled properly right now, had your parents or guardians talked more with YOU.  Create the childhood that you would have wanted for yourself.  Pay it forward !  

      If you can ask for greater understanding, be willing to also GIVE IT !  It will mean more that you know to your future generations.  Like any other form of relationship in life :  

COMMUNICATION IS KEY...  

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Vanilla Swirl

      Before I tackle this touchy and unpopular subject matter, it is only fair that I disclose the fact that, I myself am a :  

"Mixed Blooded" Native American.  My father was a VERY PROUD and STRONG Cherokee and Irish mix.  My mother is a Hot Blooded Latina : Portuguese.  With this mixture of my parents which creates me and my sister, It wasn't my choice and if I could change it, I definitely and most certainly would : IN A HEART BEAT !  Having said that...  On with the show :  

      You know, people say life is not fair at all.  As much freedom we enjoy everyday, we are still powerless about who and what we are.  Think about this.  We are born into a world where we don't get to choose anything about our self.  We can't choose our parents, our gender, our height, our place of birth, our skin color or tone or even our race or races...  

      I hear all kinds of opinions about race mixing and mixed race couples, who eventually produce mixed race babies (like me and my sister).  I hear Both good and bad opinions on this touchy, sensitive and sore subject matter.  No one wants to discuss this "Openly" these days anymore because everyone is so afraid of offending others and we all are so tied now to being "Politically Correct".  No one has the guys to air their own personal opinions because we may be seen or viewed as being a racist or labeled ignorant.  However, I have very deep feelings about this matter and being a mixed race person myself, I am more than qualified to speak on this matter.  It's "MY" blog and I can say whatever I want, right !  

      Growing up in a mixed household with 2 very different family sides (mom side and dad side) was an interesting experience and often confusing and very awkward and uncomfortable.  Especially with all the various holiday traditions and different family "ways", mindsets and attitudes.  As a result, I have never had the luxury of having a clear "Self Identity".  For example, whenever I fill out job applications or any kind of paperwork anywhere, there are always race / ethnicity questions.  The selections are always (Choose "ONE") !  I can never "Clearly" answer.  Also, whenever someone sees that I am "different looking", they always ask me, what am I ?  I can never just say I am 1 thing or another because I am a combination of multiple races.  Three to be exact (that I know of thus far...).  This has prompted me to start a family tree back in 2010.  I have thus far traced my family members and roots back to the late 1800's.  In the process, I have been learning a lot about myself and where I came from.  At least about my family anyway.  

      With a deep rooted mixed family history on both sides of my family, I have been yearning for just 1 solid racial identity all my life but I know that it will never happen because I can't change my DNA and I can't change who I am.  That decision was made for me by my parents.  I have a mixed identity, a mixed culture and a mixed image of myself which I have secretly been deeply regretting all of my life !  It was just "Politically Incorrect" to openly voice the fact that I am seriously against race mixing.  It creates uncertainty and blurred visions with people.  It takes away the ability to simply just know who you are and to have a clear solid pure racial identity and vision of yourself.  

      Example : If I had 2 Chinese parents, I could just say : I am Chinese, period !  However, If I had 1 Chinese Parent and 1 Mexican or White parent, what would I be called ?  Who would I be ?  Why blur the color lines ?  Why create confusion among people ?  Why do that to your children and future generations ?  Shall I say : Why mix people up and make people lives much more difficult than what it need to be already ?  Don't get me wrong, I am PROUD of my heritage and I like who I am as a person inside.  I just wish I had 1 "clear defined identity", 1 way or the other.  

      If you don't like what I have said or how I feel about standing firmly against the mixing of the races or not dating outside your own race, that's fine.  Just remember 2 things. : 1. These are MY Personal feelings here on MY Personal BLOG and I can say whatever I like.  2. You may disagree but at lease I am NOT afraid to exercise my freedom of speech just because of what other people may think.  It's MY life and MY opinion.  I never wanted to be a mixed race person.  But like I already said from the beginning, I never got to choose.  The freedom of choice was taken away from me at conception, just like everyone else.  CHOOSE your mates SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY.  Your future generations - AND - family history REALLY DEPEND ON IT...  

 

 

 

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